Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
