How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
