Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
