weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
