Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
