quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
