You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
