i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
