I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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