She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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