i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
do herpes really smell.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
