we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
