My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
