just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Randomize
