just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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