I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
