Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
