how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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