At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize