oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
