Screwed.edu
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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