Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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