so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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