Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
