you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
"it" just moved
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
