I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
