She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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