I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
