Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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