Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
