yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
