I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
