Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
