that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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