i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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