I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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