So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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