PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
