She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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