kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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