So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
