Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
