There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
