Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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