Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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