"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She bit a glass in half.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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