just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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