you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize