Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
