If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Randomize
